Hold hands often. Holding onto that grubby, sticky hand attached to your two-year old comes naturally; you're probably just keeping him from running into the street or creating havoc wherever you are. Holding your partner's hand may not be as instinctual, but this is one of the easiest ways to connect with you partner, I kid you not. Simply holding hands may bring you back to the days when you were first dating and life was much simpler. Of course, if you were easy back then and skipped the hand-holding stage, then I suggest you take a trip back to the days of pure and hold your partner's hand next time you have a chance. You're welcome.
Say good morning, goodnight and goodbye with a kiss. Kissing your partner sounds so obvious, but something that is easy to forget. With all the busyness of life, especially once you have a child, kissing just doesn't happen as often as it should. Kissing each other is a way of expressing your love, especially when you are purposeful about it. Of course, I'm not saying you have to have a make-out session at 6:00am as one of you is waking up, unless of course that's your style. But leaning in for that kiss helps both of you to press pause on the rest of the world and focus on each other, even for two seconds. There. Done. Let's move on.
Surprise each other with acts of kindness. What would make your partner really happy? Surprise her by doing something that you know will bring a smile to her face. It doesn't have to be big; it could be filling up her gas tank on some cold morning (my head's in the fucking gutter because these sentences sound pretty suggestive to me). Maybe you can surprise her with her favorite beverage, a new book or magazine and a bubbly bathtub so she can have some time to relax (this means wrangling any kids from interrupting this time!). Encourage your partner to hang out with his friends, if he doesn't have much time to do so, and make the time for this to happen. Whatever it is, do it without being asked and do so with a smile (again, gutter...).
Accept your partner for who s/he is... You established a relationship with this person because you were attracted to him and you wanted to be in a partnership. Maybe you were initially attracted to his spontaneity and his ability to live in the moment, but now you're just annoyed with his inability to plan ahead. Revisit those reasons of attraction in the beginning and see how that can (still) be a positive attribute. Yes, relationships change and mature, and life circumstances are not what they were when you were first dating and your relationship felt (possibly) easier. But, if you share loving support and respect, revisiting those traits you first found attractive and seeing how you may benefit from them may bring back the spark.
...but lovingly support your partner when they want to be a better version of himself. If your partner becomes interested in running but you think it's a fucking stupid waste of time, think about how you can lovingly support your partner's interests. When your partner feels fulfilled and at peace with where he is in life, he'll be a better version of himself for the entire family. You don't have to have identical interests, mind you, but including your partner can also keep the flame a burnin'. This may just be playing that song you've been learning or sharing what you're reading in that book club you joined. And as the partner listening, it's a good habit to put your phone aside or close that laptop to really listen. I know, you may be bored out of your fucking mind listening to her talk about that new Nicholas Sparks book she's reading, but it's important you give her the attention she deserves.
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