Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Start Listening!

What's with all the whining and yelling and pouting?

That shit has GOT to stop! 

No, I'm not referring to my children, people. 

I was a hot mess last weekend. I blame lack of sleep, driving for hours, the heat, missing out on a friend's special event, feeling wronged by my kid. 

I'm not proud. I could've chosen differently. But I'm owning it. 

The thing about this whole parenting gig is that we start off with these little babies that need such basics. They're such vulnerable, fragile beings, and our job is to love and feed and protect. They may cry but it feels so out of our control so we just go with it. We soothe and love and calm. 

And then our kids get older and suddenly it feels like they can listen and obey and follow directions. And they can. And there are times when they should. But not all the time. 

WHAT?! 

I hate to admit it, but it's true. The other night, my older son was doing exactly the opposite of what I wanted, and I told him to stop. He didn't. We were in the car and I gave him THE LOOK in the rear view mirror, and that didn't make him stop. I raised my voice and repeated, STOP! He didn't. Then I pulled the car over to the side of the road AND stopped suddenly AND yelled STOP! 

He stopped. 

But at what cost? And what exactly made him stop? And what will I have to do next time to get the same result?

Parenting is not perfect. It's messy and full of times where the roles are reversed. My kid is the one telling me to blow my anger out and I'm making faces behind his back. But I'm working on it. I'm learning and growing and managing. 

Today I will use my words and blow my anger out and do better. Not perfect, but better. 

1 comment:

  1. Older son inherited it from his father and uncle... we had quite a few squealing stops by the side of the road, as you've made me recall. The good thing is, you will forget that outburst... but it will be replaced by another one... can't tell you what right now... but it will come! Son two is watching and learning! Ain't it a blast??!! They will love you anyway.... keep on truckin'...

    ReplyDelete