All I Want

I look at my children, and I want them to feel happy and satisfied. I want them to feel loved and supported and fulfilled. I want those great smiles and belly laughs to carry them through their days. I want them to have friends, and I want these friends to encourage my children in all the "right" ways. I want my children to find love and feel love and be loved.

 I want my children to eat well and stay strong in their bodies. I want their bodies to be healthy and whole. I want my children to care for their world, and I want them to reuse, reduce and recycle.

I want my children to use their voices to share good news and sing and talk late into the night with their best friend. I want my children to include me in their lives, and I want them to write me letters, call me, think of me. I want to get along with my children and please them. I want all of this and more for my children.

What more could I want for my children?

I want them to feel angry and pissed off. I want them to feel dissatisfied in their life and be pushed to be better, be more, or just plain be. I want my children to cry hard and low, getting out not only tears but all the anguish they've ever felt. I want my children to figure out friendships and relationships, even if it gets messy and painful and hard.

I want my children to be mad and scream and rant. I want them to separate from me, when they're ready, so they learn more about themselves and their world. I want them to find their own passion, even if I don't understand or want to understand. I want my children to screw up and make mistakes and be fucking normal. I want them to go deep in themselves, figuring out their own shit and learning from it.

I want my children to move halfway across the world, even if they're unsure what or where or why. I want my children to have their own adventures, creating memories and stories they'll hold forever in their hearts.

I want my children to speak other languages and play musical instruments and climb mountains. I want my children to find a small town in the middle of nowhere and settle down. I want them to explore big cities and wear fancy clothes and dirty jeans and go barefoot on the beach. I want them to memorize constellations, and I want them to wake to see the sun rising over the horizon.

I want my children to grow old and gray, and I want them to be wise and strong.

I want, I want, I want...